One thing we have learned in moving around the world is that being a Christian can provide you with an automatic list of people who welcome you and quickly become your friends. No matter how strange the situation or the culture, we have had the privilege of being cared for and helped by other believers. When you feel like you have “lost control” because you have no idea how to evaluate what is happening around you in a new and strange place, it is reassuring to be in the company of national believers that you trust, who know the “code”, and can guide you around.
Is that always true? Recent conversations have led me to realize that is not always the case. When I was helping in the language school in Cambodia, one of the students was a Korean woman who was trying to learn English. She was moving to California in a few weeks and was very nervous about living there. I was flabbergasted to learn that she had previously lived in the US for 6 years and had not learned English during that time. When I tried to find out how that had happened, she replied: “I tried to talk to Americans, but they didn’t want to talk to me, so I just stayed with my Korean friends.” She was not a pushy person, very timid, and was easily discouraged when rebuffed.
The other conversation was with a young European who has lived in the US for several years. He speaks English fluently so I was surprised when he looked straight at me and asked, “How do you make friends in America? “ When I suggested he look up American students who had some overseas study experience, he replied, “It is well known that American students are more interested in texting their friends back home than in talking with the people around them.” Since living here, he has tried various ways to make friends but has been frustrated by the lack of interest of Americans his age in actually connecting with someone “different”, albeit in rather minor ways. He also feels rebuffed.
Sadly, both of these people are Christians who have not found companionship in Christian communities in the US. In one case there was a language barrier, in the other case a cultural perception difference. It is not EASY to reach out to those from other lands who are among us, but it is important. The leading pastors of the churches we worked with in both Cambodia and Nepal became Christians because a family member had found the Lord while living in the US. Someone here did go to the trouble of reaching out to a foreigner and the results are being multiplied hundreds of times over.
We recently read that 80% of the foreign students who come to the US for schooling return to their country without ever having seen the inside of an American home!! This is a chasm that Christians – every local church -- could be rushing into with world-changing results. I realize that it isn’t EASY to voluntarily move out of our comfort zone and invite those who are not like us, but it is vital.
So you don’t know what you would talk about with someone from a different background? Just ask them to tell you about themselves, their families, their homeland, their studies, their travels, their questions about American life, their goals… All you really have to do is be welcoming and listen. If you would like some ideas, zip us an email and Bill and I would be glad to give suggestions. For us, it would be a very small payback for all the care that other Christians around the world have generously bestowed on us.
Who is living in your town right now and needs to have you friend them?
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