n wedding, and it was quite an impressive affair. The bride and groom were a young couple from the Khmer congregation. Neither of their families are Christian, but the couple wanted a Christian ceremony. The bride’s parents basically said that none of their Buddhist friends would come to a ceremony in a church, so if she wanted it that way, she would have to pay for it! The church rallied around and provided a fabulous wedding. The families did attend the church ceremony.
Preparations started 2 days ahead of time with the construction of t
he wedding tent that covered the whole church yard and half of the street out front. A huge outdoor kitchen was set up along the curb. The wedding day began very early with a sit-down Cambodian breakfast (various kinds of soups, rice, and noodles) served to all the guests at beautifully decorated tables. This varied from a traditional wedding which begins with the groom’s family processing to the bride’s house to present the dowry and begin the ceremonies, which take place in the home.
The wedding its
elf began about 8:30 a.m. It had most of the elements of a traditional US wedding ceremony – giving away by the parents, exchange of vows, exchange of rings, and lighting a common candle. One very nice touch was when the bride and groom each knelt and washed each other’s feet. Since public displays of affection are not acceptable in Cambodia – even for married couples, the usual “you may kiss the bride” was reduced to a discreet peck on the forehead and each cheek.
I was told that since there is little audience participation at a Buddhist wedding where the monks chant on and on, people are used to talking on their phones, drinking tea, etc. during the ceremonies. So, the atmosphere in the church was less than hushed, and when the sermon went on a bit long, many of the Buddhist family members gradually got up and went outside to visit.
At the end of the ceremony, the bridal party disappeared, only to re-appear about 15 minutes later. They had all changed out of their white dresses and tuxedos and now wore fabulously ornate traditional pink and gold Cambodian costum
es. Then there were more ceremonies in which each set of parents, followed by other relatives and friends, sat down beside the couple kneeling with their hands joined on golden pillows to give them words of blessing and encouragement. Many Christian friends prayed for them at this time. Of course, everything was in Khmer, of which I don’t understand a word, so I was depending on brief explanations given by those around me. This second time of ceremony ended with more prayers by the pastor and the couple being showered with flowers.
After the ceremony, the family members left, but the other guests were again given a lunch of soup, rice, a sort of omelet dish with vegetables, and a delicious steamed fish. That ended the 4 ½ hours at the church, but the day wasn’t yet finished.
Late in the afternoon over 200 of us gathered at a banquet hall in another part of the city for an elaborate Cambodian meal. Hot meat or fish hors d’oeuvres were followed by steaming plates of poultry, meat, fish, vegetables, salads – there were over a dozen dishes in all. The whole thing was accompanied by a band with singers performing very good, but very loud, Cambodian music.
During the whole dinner, the bride, groom, and entire wedd
ing party stayed outside at the entrance to the banquet hall to greet all guests as they entered or left. I suppose they got to eat at some point, but they had not yet come inside when the party I was with decided to leave.
Part of the tradition is for the whole wedding party to change costumes numerous times during the various ceremonies so that they can be seen in various colors. A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime extravaganza for which no one wants to cut corners. Cambodians are a naturally beautiful people and, I must admit, the visual effect was stunning!
This is fascinating mom!!!!
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